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Crossing Borders
Volume 8, Number 1 - Fall 2009
Rage Opens to Empathy
by Diane Wilfrid
The small six-pack of bright marigolds, set on the table where nine residents of Trenton’s Rescue Mission and four Crossing Borders volunteers gathered for our weekly session, hardly caused a stir. A few remarked that they were pretty; most ignored the flowers and indulged in doughnuts and apple cider.
Though I rarely felt the need for a “visual” when bringing a short story to this group, Eugenia Collier’s “Marigolds” seemed to present a challenge. The story, a coming-of-age tale based on the memory of a twelve-year-old girl living in rural Maryland during the Depression, had, I thought, no obvious point of connection to my audience. I was so wrong.
Angel, a participant who usually speaks first, simply said, “This story really touched me. This connected to something deep in my soul.” The anger that engulfs Lizbeth, the girl in the story, as she senselessly destroys Miss Lottie’s marigolds, the sole nugget of beauty in the dusty town, reminded Angel of the frustration that led to violence when he started to recognize his own poverty.
Stories of childhood meanness—directed toward the “odd” person on the street, the neighbor who complained about children or the lonely person who had no “gang” for support—came to life as the participants reflected on actions they now regret. James recalled the glee he felt when he taunted a neighbor, feeling powerful by inflicting pain. Participants felt Lizbeth’s rage, her sudden sense of powerlessness in the face of her suffering family and her emergence from the innocence of childhood.
Toward the end of the story, the adult Lizbeth reflects on Miss Lottie and the marigolds of her childhood. She says, “This was the beginning of compassion, and one cannot have both compassion and innocence.” When I challenged the group to explain this statement, there was silence. Then agreement: “Someone can’t have compassion unless that person knows pain. You have to understand it to feel for someone else.” Then disagreement: “A child protects someone weaker than he or she is by nature. That child doesn’t need to be taught to care for a disabled child; they just do it.”
Relying on personal experience, both the men of the Rescue Mission and the Crossing Borders participants recounted moments from their childhoods that they now realize provided a step into adulthood, stealing their innocence but allowing them a glimpse into the realities of the adult world. “It’s all about learning and growing up,” Hector said in the end.
The marigolds, so common to the suburbanites in the group, became something special to the men of the Rescue Mission. They planted them in their courtyard, a vibrant reminder of beauty within the cinderblock walls.